| Melvin 的个人资料Warning: I Still Don't K...照片日志列表 |  工具  帮助 |
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5月17日 A & W CommercialDad: I'll have a Popa Burger, Moma Burger and two Teen Burgers.
Son: Since we were kids.
Dad proceeds to a table where a nice couple has just finished their burgers. Dad picks up the guy and rockets him thru the window, his wife immediately runs to her husbands rescue. Son reaches the table with his girlfriend.
Dad: Grandpa Burger?
Mom: Congratulations!
Dad: Where are the onion rings?
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This is dedicated to a friend at work. He's always asking where the fries and rootbeer come from in that commercial, afterall, the Dad only orders burgers. Aquafina CommercialAnnouncer: I have this wicked cool device called a TDS Machine.
Reporter: Are you sure it's not an STD Machine?
Announcer: Shut up! You just might learn something!! A TDS Machine measures the mineral content of water.
Reporter: So, all mineral content is bad? Is that true?
Announcer: You put the STD - I mean the TDS Machine in Aquafina water and it reads 009.
Reporter: So how much is tap water? How much is the ocean? Why not just use a radar gun wrapped in tin foil and say you can cure cancer by aiming it at people?
Announcer: People are stupid and don't ask questions like reporters. So shut up!! And let me count my money in peace. 5月14日 TMNT FoodI wonder if these will ever make a comeback, hehe
Ninja Turtles Arroroot Cookies Late 1980's.....Green turtle shaped cookies in a box...my kids loved it...but the taste was terrible...and resulted in the greenest stools i had ever seen in a diaper...yuck!!!! Was not around long....never seen them again
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Yippee!! Green stools going off to the sewers to meet the TMNT! They'd be so proud! I know that if anyone hits the last link on my previous blog...You'll be looking for stuff like this, I just know it! 5月13日 Got The Munchies?I was watching TV the other day when I started missing those three monsters from the old Hostess commercials, you know, "when you got the munchies, nothing else will do!! Hostess Potato Chips!" There was something interesting and exciting about those old commercials. Well aparently Hostess was Canada's largest snack food brand. Well, just to sum it up Lays are around and my Hostess Potato Chips...A Canadian chip, is now the way of the dinosaur...I miss my chips. :(
Okay, I was searching for a pic of the monsters that went with these chip commercials, but came up empty handed so this is the next best thing
The best potato chips ever! I used to buy Hostess Barbecue Chips for 25 cents at the corner store when I was a kid in Canada. The barbecue flavour is like nothing else I've tasted since then. It was a really strong barbecue flavour. The lays brand today doesn't come close. They also had the best Salt and Vinegar and Ketchup chips. Strong taste. amazing! http://www.inthe70s.com/generated/food.shtml 5月1日 The Monsters Are Due On Maple St."The tools of conquest do not necessarily come with bombs and explosions and fallout. There are weapons that are simply thoughts, attitudes, prejudices - to be found only in the minds of men. For the record, prejudices can kill and suspicion can destroy, and a thoughtless, frightened search for a scapegoat has a fallout all its own - for the children, and the children yet unborn. And the pity of it is that these things cannot be confined to the Twilight Zone."
Rod Serling at the end of The Monsters Are Due On Maple St.
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The amazing thing is that so few of us actually go on murderous killing rampages against our neighbors over irrational things. The truthiness in the world is sometimes so convincing that we dare not look for proof, protocol, or precedent. There are so many circumstances to point to in this world that I'd rather just sum it by saying look in the mirror. And then look out into your community and try to get to know everyone just a little bit better.
The CBC Fire SaleMattocks estimates the savings at a minimum of $1 million a year. The memo noted that few major public broadcasters around the world - including the BBC - still maintain substantial in-house design teams. From now on, independent producers and co-producers will be required to handle all design needs, the memo added. The Canadian Media Guild, which represents most of the affected employees, said the layoffs wipe out almost the entire TV design department, leaving only a few makeup people for news and current affairs. "What it means is the CBC will no longer be able to fully produce its own shows inside," said Lise Lareau, the CMG's national president. "It's the end of a television era at the CBC." Lareau says producers of shows like the Royal Canadian Air Farce and even The National will have to outsource any new sets they want built. "There's not going to be anybody who can do sets left, or do carpentry to create sets, or paint. "The CBC is essentially announcing it will not do any other kind of production, other than news or current affairs, internally, ever again." Air Farce cast member Don Ferguson characterized the move as "the end of a dream." "They all got called to a meeting this morning at 9 o'clock and were told 'That's it', they're closing the whole operation down and they're all out of here by August the 11th." Ferguson said the Farce gets scripts Monday morning, then the sets are designed Tuesday and delivered to the studio by Wednesday for rehearsals. The show is taped Thursday in front of a live audience. He's not sure how things will work after the layoffs. The latest cutbacks follow on the heels of a CBC move a year ago to drop more than 30 in-house publicists in favour of contracting out the work. The majority of those jobs lost were in Toronto and some of the people landed work with Media Profile, a public relations company hired to promote CBC programming. Those layoffs came after CBC's communications department was asked to cut $1.7 million, to be funnelled back into programming. At the time, savings from the outsourcing were expected to amount to $864,000, but Guild officials have disputed that claim. The announcement also comes amid reports that the new Heritage Minister Bev Oda wants a thorough review of the public broadcaster's mandate.
4月16日 Way Of The FlavI watched an episode of the new Flav show, man that's cool!! I'm not much of a fan of Dr. Phil, but the philosophy of Flav is something I really love!
 You know Flav puts things into perspective and he uses the English language the way the greats used to. I'm talking Mark Twain, Shakespeare, Lord Buckley, and of course Melvin Van Peebles. English isn't a suit that must be clean and perfect that lasts forever, it goes to the laundery room and gets cleaned up and pieces fall off, it gets stained and eventually replaced with something newer...Maybe not better. When Flav tells a girl she's gotta be real with herself, he's right on the money! When he tells a girl that they should just let insults fly away and never hit their ears, he should be getting a standing ovation. The man has a way of taking these lionesses into a room and teaching them how to respect themselves and relax. I do mean lionesses, the episode I saw of them those women were tearing each others heads off like watching the pecking order work on a nature show.
I hope some of the women leave realizing the gift that Flav is trying to give them. Each of you is star. You all glow in a different way and have a different orbit. You don't need to collide with others, just try feel the warmth from each other as you pass by. I love you all for your individuality, the one I choose is the one who shines the brightest and wants to orbit around me. Yeah, yeah, I usually rip these blogs up like I did during Flav's last show, but maybe with this one I'll write down more. 4月3日 TV Show: WebsterI've never watched an episode of this supposed knock-off of Different Strokes, but after reading about Webster burning down a house his adventures with a dead girl and a doll....I might acutally buy this when it gets on DVD!!
Here's an excerpt.
"Webster is shown having to deal with crime for the first time in his life and his diminutive size quickly causes him problems with more street tough residents. His future is left clouded as the final shot features him being surrounded by a gang of street thugs. The show's writers allegedly planned for the situation to be resolved at the start of the next season, but the show's subsequent cancelation thwarted that possibility."
12月14日 Afganistan And The Revolution Of The SpiritOprah came into Afganistan with her army of women, armed with guns and purses. Oprah told them to spread the revolution of the spirit to everyone of Afganistan. A house would be given to whoever killed Bin Laden, and a car would be given to the one who killed the most Al Quida. And all survivors would get a mostly free trip around the world. If anyone killed soldiers of the US or other armies, it would be called friendly fire, if innocent people died it would be considered acceptable losses. The smarter of the women realized the easiest thing to do was to work in groups wiping out all the men. They sang "One Tin Soldier" every night, they even learned to sing it in different languages as they picked up other women to do an ethnic cleansing of all men. I wonder where they'll go next? Apparently it's cheaper sending these women in to do a mass cleansing and paying for their trips than paying for trained soldiers? What is the world coming to? I mean I love reality TV!! I can hardly wait for the movie!! 11月16日 Soap Opera TV In My BarI was watching TV in one of my usual bars. It was lunch time, you know when the bar opens. I was sitting around drinking when I glared up at the TV, there was some French Canadian programme on. It's weird watching French TV shows, they always seems so darn happy and relaxed nothing like the usual stuff where everyone takes themselves so seriously. After I came back from the counter with my food in hand the channel had been changed. The two TVs that I could see were showing some soap opera with a five min. gap between each. It was really weird like watching two separate events in real time. The DJ had come in to get his paycheck and saw this odd phenomenom and went to his record booth. he mixed a couple records and did a pretty cool interpretation of the moods of the characters and the suspense scenes. A really good guy.
You know I'm not much for soap operas, but I have to say they aren't too bad when you splice the storylines and play two at the same time and put some cool music to it.
Okay, it was in a bar, so the alcohol could be affecting my judgement. Cheers! 11月13日 Vaccum CommercialDead body surounded by cops. Possibly naked girl, can't really see her from behind the cops. Camera zooms out to reveal it's a tv show set. Announcer walks onto the set and points to the fake blood and other stains on the crime scene. "Ever wonder which vaccum cleaner your favorite crime show uses to get out stains? Well? It's probably ours, our vaccum cleaner moistens an area before it sucks, it gets rid of many fungi and even gives rugs and sheets a nice smell." The announcer walks closer to the presumably naked woman playing the corpse. She is pixilated less and less as the commercial gets played later and later into the night. "Our vaccum cleaner also has special features that every woman would love to take advantage of." Bloody hard not to use the word vibrator, but for those who know no words need to be used. "Please order one today, you've never had a carpet cleaned until you've tried our amazing attachments and sucking power!" Pixilated Girl holds up vaccum. "Can I try it now?"
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I just find it odd, that there isn't a vaccum cleaning compnany that hasn't made an ad inspired by a crime show. I mean with all the messes and stuff. Or did the Swiffer commercial suck all the originality out of doing a vaccum commercial? Darn, I guess it did. 10月26日 Pillsbury CommercialWe came up with deluxe, three cheese, and pepperoni and bacon, we got the best variety in town! Then we got rid of bacon in our pepperoni and bacon, and that was a succuess!! Now, we're going to add some other new flavours like tomato paste, and one cheese, and finally...Just dough! Yup, instead of making a silly spinach pizza or bbq chicken pizza we're just going to continue to delete items off our original pizzas and charge you the customer the same price. We know you love us!! Oh, and one more thing; the Dough Boy is getting kinda mad that some of you are touching him below the belly button be careful he might freak out and create a limited series pizza with your name, literally, on it!! 10月3日 Gun CommercialSmith and Wesson. Helping people communicate in different languages around the world.
Smith and Wesson. Bringing people together in a deeper understanding. 9月14日 Commercial in the workplaceAre you missing your children because you're spending too much time at work? For a limited time only our company will be smuggling in foriegn children to do the contract work for one of our biggest clients. While they are here please call them the names of your children. It will be easier than learning their names and you can now spend quality time with your children at work so you don't have to go home to see your kids anymore. You can even sleep on the floor next to them. It will be like taking that camping trip with your kids, the one you never had time to take before. If our company relocates to their country you can move and continue having your son or daughter by your side and meet your new wife. We will have to come up with a plan for her original husband but we feel this is no real problem because they are poor and stupid.
So please apply for your new kids and be prepared to leave the country for your never seen before wife.
OUR COMPANY BRINGS FAMILIES CLOSER TOGETHER, BY MAKING YOUR FAMILY COMFORTABLE WORKING NEXT TO YOU FOR FREEL. 8月10日 Mafia Doctors was my rejected tv show :(I wanted to create the TV show Mafia Doctors, but unfortunately no one found the idea of mafia doctors funny.
Mother: Is my husband going to be okay?!
Mafia Doctor: Looks like he had an accident. We'll take good take of him miss.
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Son: Is my grandpa going to be okay?
Mafia Doctor: Forget about it.
Son: You mean he's dead? Waaah.
Mafia Doctor: Nah Naah, he'll be fine. If he knows what's good for him. Make sure he takes his medicine, or I'll be givin' him a call.
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Mafia Doctor: Hey Vinny, Vinny. This is your new apprentice I want you to teach him everything you know. He wants a piece of the family business. Make him a doctor I can be proud of, or I'll be donating your organs to science. Capiche (I can't spell it, but you know what I mean).
I don't understand. Why isn't this funny? Okay, the Supranos and the Godfather as doctors might be considered prejudiced, but really isn't it a little funny sheeesh. A Cold Comfort: CommercialsPro Life
Woman With Large Protest Sign: I believe in Pro-Life that's why I say kill doctors!! No I don't see the irony in saving a fetus' life that will eventually become a doctor who I will later kill. Killing fetus' is wrong killing doctors is okay!!
Matress Company
Wife: My bed is so comfortable and supports my body so well that when I'm having sex with my boyfriend my husband is able to sleep soundly next to the two of us.
Husband: I didn't even know my wife was cheating on me until we started shooting this commercial. Now the only reason I feel badly about sleeping with my secretary is not doing it on one these matresses. Buy one today it'll change your life and get you out of a loveless marriage and into...Something I am not allowed to say on television. (wink) 8月3日 Are you experienced? CommercialFemale Voiceover: How do you know you don't like it if you haven't tried it?
Male Voiceover: STDs. Cancer. Getting shot. Hit by a car.
Female Voiceover: How do you know you don't like it if you haven't tried it?
Male Voiceover: Drinking and driving. Jumping off a skyscraper.
Female Voiceover: How do you know you don't like it if you haven't tried it?
Male Voiceover2: Before you try something new that could be risky try to gain as many perspectives as you can. Learn about potential risks and how to protect yourself. It only takes five seconds to alter your whole universe in irreversible ways. Get informed.
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If your going to drive, you'd better drink. This message has been brought to you today by the Green Church. Save the planet kill yourself.
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Have you ever noticed that political and social commentary don't seem to be around on dramatic tv shows? Ever notice that there are very few news magazine style shows? Ever notice that we as a nation are being controlled more year after year day after day? Make a vlog and we'll make it into a movie with Hollywood stars. We're Sony Movies, and we haven't made any money since Spiderman 2. Please. Help us help you. 7月29日 Weird CommercialHeard about this a little while back, apparently a group of people made a little water cooler video for their company. A short how to guide to get suicide bombers to get life insurance from their company. The members responsible were reprimanded for their actions, but it does pose an interesting question about how all aspects of society are hurt by these criminals, lawyers and wills, hospitals, loved ones. The hardest thing about suicide bombers is the fact that no one seems to benefit from their actions. Unless the people at the top somehow gain the dead people's inheritance.
I guess I'm just jealous. No one would die and let me get their money. Not even sure I'd like that idea very much anyway. I'd rather just ask for donations. For example I need to talk to Hugh Heffner about taking my bachelor suite and turning it into a bachelor pad. I need donations to get me thru school, I need donations to pay the rent. Give me money, you'll feel better about your life. And so will I. Heehee, okay. Nevermind. 7月23日 Kaiju DefinedHmm, Kaiju is a Japanese word for cage. Monsters like the half man half tree featured in my pic fight cage matches on top of minature versions of cities crushing their opponents and the miniature city. Hope that helps you out Mangled. |
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